I never write to provoke. To encourage, inspire or convict? Yes. To iron the wrinkles from my own thoughts. Often. Yet though my intention isn’t to raise the ire of the average reader, it happens on occasion.
When the claws come out I want to retreat. I’m not confrontational and I’ve never truly enjoyed a good debate. I don’t argue, I hide.
Blogging has forced open the door of criticism that I’d have rather left closed. I write and they pounce. Not all the time, of course. The reality is I receive far more positive feedback than negative and most of the time those with a dissenting opinion are tactful and kind.
But then there are the others. The ones who don’t seem to have met up with tact or kindness just yet. I’m not a fan, yet I’m learning God sometimes softens our rough edges by way of the most unappealing people.
When the barbs start flying there are a few things I remind myself of….usually after I pout a little, though I’m working on that…
- Hurting people hurt people. Somebody has to break the deadly cycle. He’s choosing you.
- Give them the benefit of the doubt. Assume they’ve totally missed the point of your article unintentionally. Clearly you hit a nerve and they might just need a little room to simmer down. Resist the urge to get in their virtual face with a jab for jab counter.
- Get over yourself. It’s easy to forget but this thing really isn’t about you anyway. Leave room for God to work without your pride in there hijacking the opportunity.
- Consider that you could be wrong. Eek, who wants to do that? But seriously, sometimes we spout off without a filter, leaving Him out of the equation. Be willing to lose face and eat crow when the situation demands it.
- Hit delete. Truly, there are just times when this is the best option. Do so without guilt or trepidation.
The reality is we write for a group of people that can’t be compartmentalized. They’re from all walks of life with backgrounds as diverse as the stars in the sky. It’s silly to expect them to consistently operate within the four corners of our comfort zones.
Remind yourself why you’re blogging to begin with. If it’s with the goal of encouraging people to think and stretch themselves toward God, then you can and should expect the critics to show their teeth at times. But the very fact that you’ve elicited an emotional response that triggered a verbal {or in this case, written} attack is a fairly decent indicator that you’ve given them something to chew on.
People simply do not get stirred up about stuff that doesn’t stir them. Don’t be afraid to stir that pot as you season with grace and pepper with love.
Blogging is a tough ministry. It’s willfully placing your heart on the line with the distinct prayer that it’ll have an impact. It’s the intentional sharing of your convictions and the offering of a peek into your weaknesses.
It’s draining at times and unspeakably fulfilling at others. Keep Him at the center so you stay balanced even when the winds of strife blow.
Kasey is a writer at heart and mom by profession…and only an awesome God could meld those two passions so they aren’t in direct competition with each other. A firefighter and seven children fill her life with a healthy dose of sweetness while He works the kinks out in her rather rumpled character. You can catch her writing at WalkingRedeemed.org.
How do you know if you’re seasoning your pot with grace and love? Read this post to find out!
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6 Comments on When Your Writing Becomes the Object of Criticism
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Such great truth here. I write and think of my intended audience, knowing they are like-minded with me. And then most people are encouraged. But then others stop by who don’t share the same perspective, and that’s often where the criticism comes in.
This is great encouragement! Thanks for sharing!
I know this is a blogging series, but boy Kasey – it’s so applicable outside of the blogosphere too! And here’s a perfect example – you’re here to write about blogging and because I’m having some family troubles I read into it with that as well! LOL So sometimes your readers have their own issues that get mixed in! ;) Great post – and so applicable for me here and offline too!
Blessings,
Nicole @ WKH
Very well said. I too am super non-confrontational and I’d rather hide than deal with an argument. Because if someone upsets me, I have a hard time letting it go. I will stew on it all night and day if I let myself. I’m working on that one. So I tend to steer away from writing things that might cause controversy. Something else I am starting to change my mind about. I loved the list of ways to handle the criticism. I got a comment today telling me I’d never get a publisher to pick up my work because I’m a fat #$%. Well then. That actually made me laugh, even though it was a mean comment. I will thank Mary Sunshine in a post tomorrow ;) She gave me something to write about…
Good post! I’ve pinned to I can revisit. You’re right, blogging is tough because we’re exposing ourselves–and it’s a social activity at it’s core. Unfortunately, there are some who forget that there is a real person behind what they’re reading! Thanks for the encouragement.
Great points, Kasey! So far so good for me, but that’s probably because of my tiny audience. Haha! I imagine it gets harder the more people that follow you. You can’t please everyone. My mom always told us, “It’s not what you say, but HOW you say it.” I try to keep that in mind when blogging. :)