The quiet fight between women. Division in the church….when we’re supposed to be working toward Christian unity. I’m guilty of it, the same as you are. The musings in my head after a conversation about this or that that make me shake my head about another mom’s choices. The whisper in the back of my mind that finds something to judge at every turn. The proverbial elephant in the room that can destroy the unity God wants for us in the church….especially among women.


Now I want to be clear. When I say God wants unity, I’m not talking about unity in a unitarian way, as in believing whatever we want and doing things that are outside the will of God. But instead I’m talking about unity in Christ, under the guiding hand of the Father, that the Lord wants for us as believers so that we can minister to others, both within and outside of the church itself.

He wants us to take to heart the Scripture that says “encourage one another and build each other up.” He desires us to find common ground….and to let go of the things that are matters of personal conviction so that we can lift each other up and “spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” (Hebrews 10:24)

Sometimes it’s hard to lay claim to that truth and calling. After all, what pleases the devil more than ripping the Christian church apart? True believers at war with each other over issues that aren’t biblical absolutes, demanding that everyone else be exactly the same and do everything exactly the same way….or we cannot be friends and confidants. 

Sometimes too, we are afraid of sharing our hopes and fears, or even convictions the Lord has laid on our hearts…..for fear that we will be judged.


The truth is, we won’t always have everything in common, but we can have unity. Being united under the cross won’t come easily, nor will nurturing this unity be perfect in its execution, but it can be possible. God can break through our different viewpoints on things like birthing, schooling and other choices that are personal convictions and bring us together so we can fulfill His exhortation to love one another and spur one another on as Christian women.

My friend Angie Tolpin has a vision for helping to heal the division and fighting among women in the church.

She created a Bible study course called The Quiet Fight Among Women that seeks to address and confront these issues that run deep within the church, bringing them to light and offering solid, biblical advice on addressing divisions and healing hurts, to the glory of God.

She says:

In this course we will learn how to address it and uplift and empower one another in Christ. We will grow together in fellowship and learn the important spiritual skill of prayer, and the reflective skill of journalling. We will learn to be truthful with one another and to build the families and fellowships we need.

Angie has the unique ability of challenging and encouraging women at the same time. Her willingness to talk about her experiences with such openness and to come alongside to other women with a message of redemption in Christian friendship is an approach that is Angie’s signature (I also poured through her book “Redeeming Childbirth” when I was pregnant with my fourth–and something incredibly surprising came from that experience!

She covers areas of Christian friendship such as (but not limited to):

  • When you are tempted to compare
  • The idol of knowledge
  • Handling rebuke and correction within the church
  • Building your identity in Christ
  • Rejoicing and grieving together
  • Overcoming the difficulty of sharing our struggles

The online course is available for $79. This is a highly personalized, intensive nine unit study that includes a private Facebook group where you can ask questions and receive encouragement. There are also various printables, including journaling pages (which you can also directly write in on your computer). Many videos, audio recordings and different course “exercises” are included as well, to help you dig deep into God’s word!

You can download a FREE preview of this online course right here —-> The Quiet Fight Among Women

You can also study “Redeeming the Division: The Quiet Fight Between Women Online Bible Study” as a group!

Angie has graciously offered an exclusive discount to my readers of 35% off the course price (use code PURPOSEFULFRIENDS during checkout). You can use this study in a group or individually! A group leader kit can be purchased as a go-along as well.

Screen Shot 2015-06-16 at 10.16.30 PM

I’d encourage you to consider going through The Quiet Fight yourself and with other women in your church or Christian circle. It truly is beautiful how God can transform broken relationships and use us to impact generations and united us in Christ so that we can encourage each other and allow our divisions to be healed and our love for one another to be used for His glory.


Your information is 100% safe with us. We'll never share it with anyone. Unsubscribe anytime. Powered by ConvertKit

1 Comment on The Quiet Fight Between Women: Healing Division in the Church

  1. Jenn,
    Thank you for your sweet post! I just enjoyed having that special one on one time with you in our own private Fb group when you were expecting. So blessed to know that you are enjoying this course as well and that it is speaking to you!
    What a delight and a joy to serve our King!

Comments are closed.