Today I want to share with you some excerpts of testimonies sent to me by several different adoptive families. Each has a unique story that contains both challenges and blessings. This post is the longest I’ve shared, but these stories of God’s provision are so special!

I hope you will be encouraged by what you read! Tomorrow I’ll be sharing my own adoptive experience and whether or not we feel called to adopt children of our own!

photo credit: arztsamui/

From Beverley, mother of five children, (two adopted):

After arriving as a nanny in the States, I met and married Jim and it made sense to us for me to continue in my line of work with children. This drew us to foster care and in two cases, the day came when the parental rights of the foster children were terminanted. We were given the option to adopt. In some ways parenting the two of them was similar but varied greatly in other ways.
Both children came to us at approximately 18 months old. They each had spent the majority of those months in hospital with serious medical concerns. The boy, our eldest,  was born premature at 2lbs,  and the girl, our youngest, was born full term at 8lbs. The boy has since found his way into a prison in Pennsylvania, and the girl found herself in the eternal presence of God. Between the birth of these two, we had our three,  who are now building careers and families of their own.
At the time of our first adoption we had a growing family, but were happy to accept him as the oldest child in our family. In the years to come, his prematurity and poor mental health from congenital complications impacted his ability to grow, learn and appreciate life in the ways most children do. His variety of diagnosis led us to try many discipline programmes, medications and even treatment centers. Mental health issues are tragically difficult to overcome. Despite this fact, several of our son’s therapists have stated that he is connected to us. We will continue to love him and provide boundaries to help him and encourage him in his reconnection with our family.
Our daughter was a different person with a different history. We adopted her, congenital  cardiac problems and all.  She underwent her third open heart surgery at two years old. She encountered numerous complications, infections, strokes and all kinds of physical challenges.  She began hospice in our home just after she turned  five years old which lasted until she died last year at six and a half.
Both our children were strong fighters,  eager to live life to the best of their ability. They loved us to the nth degree. Their lives and challenges were quite different as is true for each of us.  No matter how our children come to us, each detail is directed by their God given DNA and experiences. All children, whether adopted, foster or biological, are individuals who are to be cherished and nurtured. When taking a child into your home and family, their challenges become yours. Together, you must face the challenges and live your lives.

From Debbie, mother of a 14 year old adoptive son:

My husband and I struggled with infertility for 12 years in our marriage. In June of 1997, we both agreed and prayed with God that if it was His will that we do not have children (my husband is a pastor) then maybe that was because He wanted us free for ministry work and that we were willing to accept that and love and serve Him anyway. We had such peace about us that we hadn’t had in 12 years.

Two months later in August around 10:00 pm, we received a phone call. My husband answered the phone and said, “Ok, alright. Well, we’ll pray about it and get back with you. Bye.” I asked him what the call was about and he said, “It was (a mutual friend) and she wanted to know if we were interested in adopting her unborn grand baby and I told her we’d pray about it.” I turned to him in shock and replied, “Pray! What do you think we’ve been doing for 12 years.  Get back on that phone and tell her YES!!” 

On January 30th the call came. The baby’s coming. My family, friends and I headed for the hospital. I got dressed up in the medical garb, so I could be in the delivery room. I have to say, I was very thankful for the cold cement wall that was holding me up, because without it, I’m sure I would have hit the floor.
The medical staff knew I was the adoptive mom and placed me up against the wall. I think they’d been through this before. Rachel (the birthmother) was lying on the table with her mother next to her.  Believe it or not, Rachel looked beautiful and much calmer and I was. 

Finally Joshua was placed beside me in the warmer. The medical staff was cleaning him and I just stood there staring at him, mostly unable to see because my glasses were so fogged up from sweat and tears. Rachel delivered via c-section and here she was lying on the table. She turned to her mother and said, “Mom, you need to go be with Debbie, cause she doesn’t look so good.” Here she was being tender and sweet to me, and I’m the one receiving this incredible gift.

Then my mother-in-law hugged me and all I could do was cry and say, “I’m a Mom! I’m finally a Mom.” When it was time to leave the hospital, Rachel wanted to see me. I was so nervous heading to her room. What was I going to say? What was I going to do?  I walked into her room and just stared at her for a moment, so many thoughts racing through my mind. I was in awe of the love she was showing her son. It takes such an incredible amount of love and sacrifice to do what she did. I stood there and said, “Honey, what do I say. Thank you seems so weak in comparison to what you’ve just done. Not only for me, but our son.” We embraced and cried together.
Joshua and I left the hospital. Previously, I had informed everyone in the church there that they shouldn’t even bother to ask to hold him, because it took me 12 years to get him. It was going to take 12 years to pry him out of my arms. He’s now 14, and you still have to pry him out of my arms.

One of my biggest fears was the bonding between my son and I. I was so afraid, because I hadn’t carried him in my body, that he’d bond with anyone.

Before we left to return to New York, Rachel wanted to stop by and see him. Due to adoption laws, birth mother’s do have 30 days to change their minds. My mother-in-law wanted me to say no she couldn’t come, but to be honest, I wasn’t nervous at all. I knew she needed this, so I said yes. My biggest regret was that I didn’t get a picture of her holding Josh. I was caught up in the beauty of the moment that I just didn’t think about that.

At the end of February 1998, Josh and I were able to fly home to New York. It was an uneventful trip, but at the end was a very grateful and excited Dad. My son is now 14 and started high school this year. Time sure does fly. I am still in awe at times of the fact that there’s someone in my home who calls me “Mom.”

From Rachael, mother to a 2 1/2 year old adopted son:

For years we tried to have a child, but couldn’t seem to manage it. After countless prayers and an “unexplained infertility” diagnosis from doctors, we finally decided to try another route. We were both convinced that IVF was not the way to go, and so adoption it was.

We contacted social workers several times and were informed that it would be difficult to adopt through foster care in our state because of new laws that were about to go into effect. 

After about six months, we got news that a birthmom had seen our photo album in the agency office and chose us to be adoptive parents for her little boy. She was eight months pregnant. She met with us twice, called me frequently, allowed me to go to her final doctor appointment. One night the agency called and said birthmom was in labor.

I held the baby and watched the nurse bathe him. I went home to get extra baby supplies and four hours of sleep. I returned to the hospital early the next morning and she was holding him. She was so happy and I knew something wasn’t right. A hospital social worker informed me that birthmom had changed her mind. I screamed, ran home, and fell into depression, inconsolable. I was angry at God. I wanted to do something good, why would He take this from me?

Six long months later, we got another call from our agency, and we got our answer from God. There was a baby boy born just four hours ago at a local Catholic hospital. Birthmom had made no adoption plans for him, but knew she would not be able to parent him. She didn’t want to meet us, she just wanted to go home. My husband was on a cruise and would not be able to fly off the ship this time. He would not meet our son until three months later. By the time I got to the hospital eight hours after the birth, birthmom had left. The social worker told me to put the name on the birth certificate. I cried. 

The labor had been quick (three hours!). The baby was beautiful. He was tiny at five pounds. He was pink and had lots of black straight shiny hair. I fell in love despite being very painfully aware that birthmom could still change her mind. Two and a half years later he is still my beautiful little boy. I could not imagine having any other child. He was obviously meant to be ours. 

Now we are almost finished with foster parenting classes and are excited to adopt another baby. The foster care law we were told about before never went into effect, and in just a few months we will be foster-to-adopt parents. I truly believe this was in God’s plan all along and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I would encourage those who are considering adoption not to be put off by my struggles, my situation was extremely uncommon and we certainly had a happy ending. 


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2 Comments on How Adoption is Changing Lives (Encouragement from Adoptive Parents)

  1. Appreciated the stories. God reveals himself as his plan for each family unfolds. Looking forward to reading your post tomorrow.

  2. Love these stories!! As an adoptive mom now too, I love that we can make a difference in ones life and honestly – they add so much to ours! So grateful for God’s grace and pushing our family over the edge and following His will – it is a scarey journey, but so worth it in the end!

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