Hope for the Mom Who Feels Like She Isn't "Living Her Dream"

Welcome to 31 Days of Hope for Moms! To see all the posts in the series, click here!

Last weekend on Facebook, I saw a post that really got me wondering and a little frustrated. I tell you, friends, this 31 Days of Hope for Moms series is bringing out some things in me….and some of these thoughts are not so pleasant.

You see, the post I read was a friend who was gushing on about how she was “living her dream”. She has no kids and was part of some prestigious opportunities that God had given her. “When we follow the Holy Spirit”, she said, “we see God’s heart and can live out such a big purpose! God has bigger plans for us than we know and He wants us to achieve our dreams!”, she claimed.

My heart sank and many thoughts ran through my mind. Is it true that we are only “living the dream” and “following the Holy Spirit” if we are doing something grand and adventurous according to the world’s standards? I have so many things I want to do, but feel limited by time, money and location! Should I really even bother or just keep pushing through the day? My life isn’t that exciting anymore!

When I was in high school and early college, I was incredibly goal-oriented and overachieving. If I wanted to do something, I did it. It got done, and not in a half-hearted way, either. I was very successful in the school activities and extracurriculars I was involved in, winning awards on state and national levels.

Things changed after I got married and had children. No longer was I able to live just for myself, instead I was called to make more time for meeting the needs of my family and home. I was still setting goals, but it was taking me a LOT longer to accomplish them, if I even did at all! I became resentful, in a way, and treated my husband’s job and the needs of my children as an inconvenience.

I still struggle with that mindset some days. Like last night when I became frustrated with a current situation and lamented the fact that I was “bored” with our life. (Hence me saying this series is bringing out some ugly truths about the way I really feel.)

It’s hard to be confronted with our failings and inconsistencies, isn’t it? To realize that we don’t always live up to the actions we encourage others to take or the mindsets we hope others will embrace. But that’s the way it should be. It brings us to the place where we recognize how much we need God to change us.

So, dear Christian mom who feels like she isn’t living her dream anymore, can I encourage you that maybe God has brought you to this place? We can’t trust our feelings, because they always lead us in the way of selfishness, rather than selflessness. If you look back and see how the Lord has worked out His plans for you before, do you remember that you can trust that He will continue to do so, even if those plans look differently than they did when you were younger or unmarried and did not have children?

Do you know that your dream may need to change or your goals be accomplished in a different way because your dreams and hopes include your husband and your children too?

Is it possible that God has plans for us in the simple day to day, even (and especially) if our days no longer belong just to ourselves but to our family as well?

Is it possible that even though those plans don’t seem as grand, exciting and adventurous as my friend’s life experiences (or your friends’ life experiences), that slowly, each purposeful moment of our day is contributing to a larger design, one of eternal significance?

Practical Help

I’ll be perfectly honest and say that sometimes I still struggle to grasp this or even embrace it as truth. But truth is not what I decide it to be: it is found in God’s Word.

When our feelings give way and we believe as though we are “wasting our time” with our “boring” existence; when we believe the lie that our families and children are nothing but burdens who are keeping us from our “greatest potential”, we can claim the truths of God and fight the inward selfishness that threatens to steal our joy and peace in God’s plans for our lives.

At the end of this week, I’ll share another Scripture printable with you {download last week’s 8 Verses for Struggling Moms while you’re waiting}, with verses that can help you arm yourself with the truth about who you are and why God sometimes calls you to change your plans and dreams for the good.

From a mom that desires to see her attitude change, I can tell you that I understand if you feel this way. But thankfully I also know that God does want us to live joyfully, based on His word and His promises.