Today, I was reading an article in the Women’s Day magazine to which my mother-in-law subscribed me. Usually I find it full of really interesting and useful household and shopping tips, as well as some good crafty ideas that I would love to do but never get around to doing. However, this time I was rather discouraged as I read the results of the following survey:
“The State of Our Unions”
This article detailed what women “really think” of their husbands. They surveyed 35,000 women about what they thought of their relationship with their husband. Sadly, 27% of women surveyed said their marriage was not successful. 52% say their husband is NOT their soul mate. And 72% surveyed said they had considered divorce.
The top 5 pet peeves were that these women’s husbands did not spend enough time with them, make enough money, help out around the house, go to the gym or put the toilet seat down. Okay, I agree with the last one. The most unfortunate survey result of all that I saw was that 60% of women surveyed do not consider flirting cheating (from either side). I wonder what they would think of Matthew 5:28.
So here’s my question: Do you think that these husbands really don’t spend enough time with their wives or make enough money, or do you think that these women’s husbands are tired of their nagging so they leave the house rather than listening to a whiny wife? Proverbs 27:15, “A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day.” And you know how annoying that can get after awhile! And is it possible that these men make plenty of money or at least enough money, but unfortunately their wives ability to spend the money outweighs the amount the man brings home at the end of the month?
What I’m basically getting at is this: Women, myself included, should stop blaming their husbands for everything wrong in life (and stop broadcasting it to the world via a magazine survey or otherwise) and look at themselves instead to see if their attitude could use a change.
Realize here that I understand that there are trials and difficulties in marriages. Not all marriages are relatively untroubled. And many times husbands do have serious issues, whether they be financial or otherwise. But hear me out.
Is it at all possible that if we ask God to help us change our attitudes that we may find ourselves a little (or a lot!) happier in our marriage? That perhaps by our cantankerous, contentious, complaining heart attitude we make things much worse for ourselves than they actually are? And drive our husband crazy?
If you have a joyful, thankful spirit regarding your marriage, rejoice! I certainly am not in a constant state of gratefulness, and this is something I have to work on EVERY SINGLE DAY. It is hard not to act as though I am at some sort of a disadvantage because my husband doesn’t do things exactly the way I want them done or see things exactly my way. But instead of looking at the negative, I NEED to turn those thoughts over to the positive side.
Maybe I should try doing something extra-nice for my husband every once in a while. Forgive him when he doesn’t rinse the dishes “just right” and just be thankful that he is willing to help. Or let him relax right away when he comes home instaed of handing the kids to him so I can make supper. Or give him an extra hug and kiss in the morning before he says goodbye and works hard to provide for our family. You know, just to see if that helps. :)
“Finally, bretheren, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” Philippians 4:8
WANT TO SPEAK WITH GRACE TO YOUR KIDS INSTEAD OF YELLING?