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Do you ever feel as though your children are a burden? That they are keeping you from doing the many things you used to do before you were a mother? Do you ever ponder how much free time you’d have if you didn’t have kids (although you’d probably fill it up with something else)?

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 As Mother’s Day approaches, we see plenty of Hallmark cards thanking us moms for all the sacrifices we make and the love we give to our children. When I ponder my selfish thoughts and inadequacies, I don’t feel like receiving those encouragements. I don’t measure up to those standards. I have to admit that I’ve let myself believe that my children are a burden.

It’s not intentional, but I’m guilty of listening to the subtle messages the world sends me about my offspring:

–they’re messy
–they’re whiny
–there are too many of them
–they keep me from getting sleep
–they’re always pulling at me or asking me a question
–they keep me from doing something for myself
–it will be so nice when they’re gone at school all day and I have some peace and quiet
–their purpose is to make my life miserable

It’s time to take back the belief that children are a blessing rather than a burden. To submit our daily thoughts to God and ask Him to change those thoughts toward our children. To fight back against the message that “being a mom” isn’t worth pursuing with our whole hearts.

Read the rest of the post at day2day joys!
Shared at Hearts 4 Home Thursdays

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10 Comments on Children: A Burden or a Blessing?

  1. Jenn – totally makes sense. Thanks for explaining where you were coming from. :) It is a good distinction to draw that the child themselves is not a burden! And balance – I swear, the hardest thing in life for me. :) How to be honest about how tough things are without devaluing the gift of life, including the more difficult parts?? :) Thanks, Jenn. :) I’ve learned much from you.

  2. Hmmm. I wonder if this could be a “both-and” thing instead of an “either-or.” What I am getting from this is that admitting to truths like “kids are messy” or the fact that they absolutely do make life more difficult in some ways means that you aren’t/can’t pursue motherhood with your whole heart. To be frank, this whole cult-of-motherhood and children-are-a-blessing-NOT-a-burden thing gave me very unrealistic expectations for motherhood. I enjoy my children and our life for what it is, not what I want it to be – and what it is is BOTH a blessing and a burden. I enjoy and love my children so much more when I recognize and accept that sometimes I will be frustrated and tired, and that’s okay. I don’t need to ignore or reproach myself for that, just cling to God’s grace.

    I hope that made sense. :P

    • Yes, that totally made sense :) It can definitely be a both/and thing. I think where I draw the distinction (for myself) is that the tasks of motherhood can sometimes be burdensome, but the child him/herself is not the burden. Oftentimes I feel like I’m being told by society one of two things: don’t have kids OR if you do, your life ends once you are “burdened” with them. That’s the thought process this post originated from :)

      I have no idea if you were able to read the rest of the post over at day2day joys where I shared that I am praying daily for God’s grace when things don’t go my way…my way of saying that even though there are lots of messes and crazy days (which I don’t like), I have little messy hands and busy children to bless my days (which I do like)!

      You are so right in that we should not continually beat ourselves up when we feel tired, inadequate, frustrated, etc. That’s legalism and life just isn’t that perfect because we’re human and have human thoughts and feelings! And since we’re being honest, I also kind-of get annoyed when I am pushed to feel like if I am anything less than appreciative and loving with my children ALL THE TIME that I am a bad or uncommitted mother.

      (Does THAT make sense?) :) You always make me think, Rachel :)

  3. I love my kids dearly! I mostly wish they would clean up after themselves! ;) (I have 4 kids) as for sleep in teenage years, my oldest is 15 & he’s still the 1st one awake in the house, generally by 6:30, Sleeping in to him is about 8:30…lol & he actually gets mad at himself for not having the ability to sleep in…

    • That’s so interesting about your teenager–that he almost can’t sleep in! I wish that was my problem…ha ha!

  4. Good reminder and always close to a mother’s heart and head even though we all know children are a wonderful blessing.

    Since becoming a mom, I mostly just miss the sleep!!!

    • I agree, I do miss the sleep when my kids are newborns. I’ve heard that kids like to sleep in when they’re teenagers so I guess I’ll make up for it then! :)

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